would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
