we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
