you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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