I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize