their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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