Me. At least after what I've been through.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
