Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
