Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
