We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
