Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
