Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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