i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I won the penis lottery.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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