There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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