Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
