my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
