Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
