I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
