btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
