mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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