She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
