i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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