we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
