gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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