P.S. I can't hear my feet
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
