I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
