I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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