he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
