Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
