3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
