Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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