I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
