(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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