The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
