Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
