You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I just sharted jello shots
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
