East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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