OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Found the puke drawer
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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