So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
