but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
