I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
