The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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