ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
