walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
