tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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