She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
