Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
