i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
