They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
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