Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
