its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Come share oat with me in your robe
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
