Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
