i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
