Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
