the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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