I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just pee around me
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
