dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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