Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
