Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
